PhD Blues

Roughly to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel


                       Well since I got rejected
                       From NSF and DOD
                       I've been at the bench for three lonely years for
                       a blank CV

                       [Chorus]
                       Yeah, PhD blues,
                       Got the PhD blues,
                       Well this P-h-D is
                       killing me.

                       Well my PCRs a failure
                       Just like my transformation
                       And I've been cloning GFP since
                       I don't know when

                       PhD blues,
                       Got the PhD blues,
                       Well this P-h-D is
                       killing me.

                       Well I finally wrote my thesis
                       The data are all so clear
                       But my PI's controls will take me
                       Five more years

                       Got the PhD blues,
                       Yeah, PhD blues,
                       Well this P-h-D will
                       never be.

                       [instrumental break]

                       Well I've heard of Armageddon
                       And I've heard of twenty-twelve
                       I've even been told that there's a
                       Heaven and hell.
                       Well I can't predict my fate
                       No I don't know my destiny
                       But when I die I still won't have my
                       GOD DAMN PhD!

                       Got the PhD blues,
                       Yeah, PhD blues,
                       Well this P-h-D is just a
                       fantasy.